Nicholas

It is finally where I can write about it. Thursday was a horrible day. Our only cat had to be put down. I have had a cat in my life every single day of my life. As of Thursday, November 12th, that is no longer the case. Nicholas had been suffering from what was thought to be URI. Turns out, after a month, that was not the case. He, too, had cancer. What we thought were swollen glands due to congestion, was rather, two tumors. One was expressed outward. The other was growing inward. It was pressing on his trachea, which was causing his breathing problems. It also caused him to be unable to eat. I had observed him trying to eat and saw there was a problem. We then proceeded to use the eye dropper to feed him homemade chicken soup. We fed him every hour or two to make sure he got some nutrients. Turns out it didn't help. He still lost 2 pounds, and the cancer took him from us. In addition, it turns out Nick was also blind. He always had this faraway look about him. It seemed like he was looking though us, which could be attributed to his not feeling well. My comments were it seemed like we were invisible. Others thought he had a faraway look. Guess what... blind. I feel like such a fool for not noticing, but I was so concerned about his bloody congestion and his swollen glands that we took it to be he was lonely for his sister....
So another chapter over. It seems like I am closing a lot of chapters in my life in the last few months. I am down to one bird and one dog. And we even have a home for the bird, once we make the trip to deliver him. The bird has always been my son's even though he was more attached to me. I stayed out of his way and let my son be the primary in his life. But my son acknowledged the bird likes me more and I feel bad. I tried so hard to avoid the bird. But when I am around him, he holds my finger to keep me with him. Rosh is such a sweetie, but I wasn't going to come between them. Unfortunately, animals make their choice, so my son is willing to let him go because they just don't have that unshakeable bond. We'll see if it actually comes to pass. I am tired of closing chapters. I am one of those people who wants to keep the chapters open and continue the journey.... oh well.... and life goes on. Sad thing is my two kids are devastated (especially the one on all counts). My son grows close and gets an attachment. Once that attachment is gone he is left floundering and is absolutely lost and confused. Poor kid. I can only explain things so far...