I am trying to cut back on my alcohol intake. Yesterday, all I drank was water. I have cut out all of my daily soda intake. Last week I hade my Pepsi One on Monday and Saturday. All the other days I only drank water. Lost 5 pounds in a week. Yippee!!
Then I get family stress - bring on the booze... My poor body is so confused!!!
I try go talk to the husband and get "yeah, yeah, yeah." Ok, whatever... communication is not important. We've gone 20 years without deep conversations, what's a few more years...
Problem is, he doesn't talk to the kids either. I listen to my son and his plans for the future and none of his plans include his father - SNAP! You get out, what you put in. Hope you are prepared for the repercussions. Goodness, I had no idea how deep my son's issues go with his father.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Marriage
Marriage - would I do it again if I had to go back in time?? Um, how do I put this nicely... um, hell no!! Did I marry the love of my life as people seem to think, yeah - no! I was brought up in a religion, where I belief in it's precepts and ideals, and all of its tenets, teaches you can only marry within the sole religion, and you cannot get divorced. That creates a problem...
The person I married 20 years ago is not the same person I am married to today. He has changed and evolved and morphed into a person I barely know. Was I in love with him when we got married... if I had to be self-reflective, probably not. What did he have going for him? He was the same religion I was and expectations were what they were. I actually was really into another person, but I try not to dwell on what might have been.
So, I did the dutiful thing and married the person I was expected of. Life was find and dandy until kids came along. Boy, did we have different ideas of parenting. ... Cut to 20 years in the future...
I get a phone call from my husband saying if I need to get a hold of my son I need to call the house number. Um, what happened? Hubby got mad at my son, took his phone and snapped it in 2 pieces. Not the most mature of decisions. What angered my son was when his dad came back a few hours later and tried to make jokes about it. My husband and son had nothing in common. No common bond, no confidences, etc. So, as soon as I come home from work I get ambushed. I see where both sides are coming from, but am torn. My 40+ husband acted like a toddler, and my son is frustrated. Not that his phone was broken, although that annoyed him. It was that he had a sim card that had quite a few photos on it that my son was quite proud of. I brought it up to my husband, about the sim card, and got a "well he should have downloaded it before" response. Really?? Yeah, that's mature!
My annoyance grows... and we are now barely at the point of "friends with benefits". We are barely more than roommates, yet I have to defer to him on most decisions. Getting to the end of my rope as he spends all of his income and has now moved onto mine. We'll see what the future holds as now both kids have no tolerance for him. My streee is high these days!!
The person I married 20 years ago is not the same person I am married to today. He has changed and evolved and morphed into a person I barely know. Was I in love with him when we got married... if I had to be self-reflective, probably not. What did he have going for him? He was the same religion I was and expectations were what they were. I actually was really into another person, but I try not to dwell on what might have been.
So, I did the dutiful thing and married the person I was expected of. Life was find and dandy until kids came along. Boy, did we have different ideas of parenting. ... Cut to 20 years in the future...
I get a phone call from my husband saying if I need to get a hold of my son I need to call the house number. Um, what happened? Hubby got mad at my son, took his phone and snapped it in 2 pieces. Not the most mature of decisions. What angered my son was when his dad came back a few hours later and tried to make jokes about it. My husband and son had nothing in common. No common bond, no confidences, etc. So, as soon as I come home from work I get ambushed. I see where both sides are coming from, but am torn. My 40+ husband acted like a toddler, and my son is frustrated. Not that his phone was broken, although that annoyed him. It was that he had a sim card that had quite a few photos on it that my son was quite proud of. I brought it up to my husband, about the sim card, and got a "well he should have downloaded it before" response. Really?? Yeah, that's mature!
My annoyance grows... and we are now barely at the point of "friends with benefits". We are barely more than roommates, yet I have to defer to him on most decisions. Getting to the end of my rope as he spends all of his income and has now moved onto mine. We'll see what the future holds as now both kids have no tolerance for him. My streee is high these days!!
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