One Decade Down

Hard to believe...my baby turned 10 today. A totally new chapter begins in our lives today. No longer a child, now in double digits. A pre-teen... Soon he will no longer have child issues. He'll have more complicated problems for me to solve. Those that aren't as easily solved by a kiss and an I love you. Although, knowing him, he'll always take them. Now agewise, I could technically have older children, but I don't. So having a ten year old makes me feel old. He's been a great child so far; I can only pray that it continues. So, as we move into the next decade of his life, one probably with the most changes, I say "strap on your seatbelts, it could be a bumpy ride." 10 years, junior high, he's growing up fast. Wish you could stop time and just keep them your "baby" forever. You want to shelter them and protect them from any hurts that of course come with growing up. All you can do is be there and guide them. Hope I do a good job.

Lightbulb Moment

Have you ever had one of those lightbulb moments? Today I had one. I was on the phone with my husband and he made a statement. Things finally clicked in my head as to where he was coming from. When you haven't been around someone for a few weeks it is difficult to comprehend things via short phone conversations. Especially when he and I are constantly surrounded by people. And, by the way, I hate that bluetooth stuff. Makes him sound like he's in a wind tunnel and I miss probably 50% of what he's saying. After he made his statement, which was in reality not big and momentus, just a passing comment, I finally got it. I had been wondering what he had been thinking and planning. He had not been brought up to speed on new developments and had been working on things from a different angle... Guess there is a parallel universe. We're travelling in the same direction only parallel to each other not with each other. Hopefully we can get back on the same planet and be able to be on the same track (even the same town would be good right now). Oh well, just one of those odd moments when you finally go "I got it". It may be that you don't agree, disagree or even understand it. You just got insight into another person's line of thought. Just getting that is enough for me...

Too Bad

Do you have any idea how much I would love to say "Too bad, you had your chance?" They are pushing the two year old, Sarah, away. She cannot go into their room unless she is very quiet. That's the quiet room. Now it's extending to other areas of the house. She cannot be two. She has to use her quiet voice all the time, even outside. Whenever they see a photo of David they get all excited, but not so with Sarah. She got so excited when her grandmother came home from work, even falling off the bed to go and see her. She was greeted with "you need to use your quiet voice". A little while later Sarah was going to be taken outside to ride her bike. It took longer to dress her than the time she spent on her bike. She was brought back in and I was told that she wouldn't play with her while she was in this mood. They then swapped her for the 10 year old. I would love to tell them as we are leaving to move across country, "too bad, you had your chance to get to know her." She is such a loving and sweet child and they are missing out. I don't think across country is far enough...

Line in the Sand

Where do you draw the line? My two kids and I are staying with my parents for a good part of the summer (or shorter I hope). My parents have now taken to overstepping their grandparent role and are assuming the parental role with my kids. They have decided to study for meetings with my son. Last week we hadn't prepared for a Tuesday night meeting. After we came back my son was asked about it. He looked confused when she asked if he had been prepared. She said she would take over the studying with him. I interjected and said I didn't have the material, remember we are just visiting. She basically ignored me and said we'll address it next week. Today she came in from playing outside with my daughter. She didn't like the way my two year old interacted with her and said she would no longer play with her. I think it took me longer to get her dressed than the whole time she played. Instead, while I am putting my daughter down for a nap they snag the son and decided to prepared for the meeting with him. That is so not your place. But how do you intervene when you are in their house? How and where do you draw the line in the sand? I was not given the material to go over the info for tonight. That's how they are using it to get around me. Driving me crazy... How do I put a stop to this?

Positive Side

On the plus side, I am now having some undivided attention with my daughter. Because I can't leave her at her grandparents she now comes everywhere with me. I heard her in trouble again because she was looking at stuff in the driveway and rearranging things. (They were having a garage sale). I gathered up my purse and bundled her into the car and off we went. Took her to the mall and we spent about 3 hours together. She was sweet and as good as can be. We ate pizza and I even got her an ice cream cone. So, her grandparents' loss is totally her gain (and mine too). We had so much fun together. Earlier I had let her ride her bike across the street to the park, so today we had lots of one-on-one time. And she totally thrives on it. My son would rather hang out here and be doted on. As he is older and quieter he is the doted on favorite. But with Sarah having her own attention, even if it is from her mom, she is coming into her own. Good for her, she deserves it.

Shhhhhh!

I don't think I've ever heard shhhhh, or be quiet, don't, or stop it as much in the past two weeks (only 2 weeks, seems so much longer) as I have in the last few years put together. It's interesting because my two year old doesn't seem to have the tantrums she used to (hopefully she's totally outgrowing them), but her loudness comes from excitement or arguing with her brother. Yet she is staying in a house that is to be "quiet". I hear them talking to her telling her she needs to be quiet or she'll be sent outside-not just the room, but the house. (Who says that to a toddler?) She can't upset their kitty. If Lilah gets upset she'll run outside. Now I know the pecking order over here, the kitty, the 10 year old, then the 2 year old. How do you tell a two year old she has to be quiet all the time? It's like telling her not to be 2. Driving me insane. I found a place to watch Junior's fight, and ended up having to take her with me. I had gone downstairs and was leaving, but heard that "be quiet" lecture again. Sure enough she was banished out of the room and the door locked behind her. She was standing in the hall all by herself. Her grandfather was on his computer totally oblivious to her. I listened to the interaction as the quiet lecture continued after the door was again opened. Within a few seconds she was banished outside again. Of course she's yelling and banging on the door. Her brother is safely inside, while she is locked, yes locked, out. I put an end to the whole thing by saying I'm just taking her with me. And it was so much better for her. "Grandma" Vicky even watched cartoons with her at her house. Sarah loved having the attention. Just let her be 2 and stop stifling her. If it's loud because she's screaming in anger or because of a tantrum that's one thing, but because she's enjoying life, give me a break.

Junior

Tomorrow (or today), Wednesday the 16th my nephew has his first televised fight. He was supposed to have his second match last Friday, but his opponent never showed up. Unfortunately, that cancelled the entire boxing line up. Apparently they needed 18 rounds. Junior fights 4 and with his opponent a no show they were only at 14, so all the matches of the night were scratched. I know nothing about boxing; this is what I'm told. Junior is supposed to be a rising star so another promoter snagged him for a fight for tomorrow. It's at Pechanga Casino in Temecula and happens to be aired on the FSN. No, he's not the main attraction. I am getting a crash course in boxing, so what I do know is the main fight is last, with a few lead-ins ahead. There are a total of 5 fights. Junior is in the Welterweight Division. I had to pick this up from the Pechanga site. He is the TBA since he was just added after his fight was cancelled. Unfortunately, my parents don't get FSN, so I am going to see if I can see it at a friend's house. My parents are very anti-boxing so I can't even tell them why I'm going to try to get out of the house. I am not a boxing fan, but I am a fan of my nephew. Of course the fights start at 5:30, but aren't aired until 8:00, so I'm sure I'll hear the results before. Junior is 1-0, his opponent is 3-0. If Junior doesn't do so well, at least I can be prepared. He has trained hard and once he found out this match is being televised has stepped it up. He doesn't want to look bad in front of such an audience. As a loyal aunt, I'm going to have to watch the fight. I do hope he does well, I'd hate to see him all bloodied up. So, hopefully I'll find a venue to watch my nephew, but no, I'm not bringing the kids. Blood, guts, and gore isn't something I want them to get a crash course in. Guess I'll have to say I'm out for a "spa" evening...

Jealous

Yes, I am jealous of my husband. Just booked his flight back home. He gets to leave this madness tomorrow. Help!!! Take me with you!!! Take me anywhere but here...

Rumors

Just to let anyone know, if you are going to talk about people and spread rumors can you at least get the facts straight. Or at least one of the facts right. It's interesting how people I haven't spoken to in years seem to know so much about me and my family's lives. Yet they are 100% wrong. Not one factual statement...Ever heard of the motto,"if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I think these people just like to hear themselves talk.

Using Children

My son is a very naive, innocent and trusting 9 year old. Why do people see the need to pump him for information. I walk by the room and hear his grandmother asking all kinds of questions about us and our lives, my husband's family, our friends, etc. He is so trusting he just talks away. Then we hear about it later. Why do people do that. If you want to know something ask me. I'll probably tell you it's none of your business; hmm, guess that's why they ask an innocent 9 year old. Drives me crazy...Any thoughts on how to put a stop to it.

Adapting or Not

We have been staying with my parents for 4 days now. Rumor has it they have a cat named Lilah. I have yet to see her. It is because of Lilah that my pets are banished. I have two cats who are 13 years old, totally indoors, declawed and "people" oriented. They both take a nap with my daughter and follow her around the house. Now, my parents didn't want Lilah upset about the visiting kitties so my cats are banished to the patio room and back yard. Back yard!!! These cats haven't been outside a day in their life in the 13 years we've owned them. One cat is so lonely she tries to follow anyone around who happens to go outside. The other cat is hiding in a cabinet. This patio room is not very big. It is long, but narrow and is also used as a storage room. My husband and I had to get away and so spent the day together (with the kids, of course). Got home to the news that the one cat went next door and the two dogs had him trapped. The neighbor's dogs hate cats. Great, let's let two old, declawed cats loose. One of the next door dogs even came under the fence and got into my parents yard. Do I see trouble on the horizon...oh yeah! The sad thing is our dog can't do anything to protect the cats. Lady likes the cats and they get along great, hence the lack of fear in the cats around dogs. You see, our dog has been banished to the side yard. Not the garage, not the back yard...the narrow walkway of a side yard. All concrete and garbage cans. When she is not in the side yard she has to be in her crate in the upstairs bedroom. She can't be in the backyard because, according to my father, she could "pee" and burn his grass. She can't be in the house because their invisible cat, Lilah, is terrified of dogs. I feel so bad for these pets. You look into their eyes and all your see is confusion. They are used to being with us 24/7 and now are banished. Our two-year old is just as confused. She is having a hard time going to sleep without her kitties. I am hoping our "vacation" will be cut short. We can see trouble on the horizon and are worrying about how our son will take it if something happens to one or both of the cats. They are too old to have to worry about running for their lives. They should be able to live out the rest of their lives in comfort; they've earned it. What's ironic is the invisible cat used to be wild. She can take care of herself outside, mine can't. Or at least let the dog out to protect his sisters...

Priorities

Why is it that people place more emphasis on "things" rather than people. As I write this my two year old daughter is sleeping (after 2 hours of fighting it), but she is sweating profusely. Her hair is all wet, her face is damp...and she is just wearing a t-shirt. The reason is her grandparents refuse to turn on the air conditioning. They live the majority of their day in their master bedroom. In there, they have a heater, a/c, microwave, etc. So there is no need to heat and/or cool the rest of the house. We are dying here. Nope, the temperature has to stay at a certain level or they pay more in utilities. It's midnight and my son is still awake because he is hot too. You are also not allowed to use any electricity from noon to 6:00 pm. Yes, I was told that as I was waiting for clothes to come out of the dryer. They are on a special plan to reduce costs. Nothing can be run during those hours. Great!!! Yesterday, my husband set up the slip n' slide for the kids to play in the backyard. It was hot... Their grandfather was indignant because it could burn the grass. He didn't want it set up. My husband put it up not knowing it would become a major issue. They didn't play long, let's put it that way. We also brought a small pool, guess they won't be using that either. Grass is a thing. Let the kids be kids. What else are they going to do...stay in a hot house staring at the walls because they can't watch tv or play video games. It's too hot to play outside. Yeah, it starts to cool down in the evening, but hey, that's when you can turn stuff on again...except the air conditioning...

Siliac

Siliac is a very food limiting disease. My mother developed this about two years ago. Apparently it is something you are born with, but it remains dormant until something triggers it. People with siliac cannot eat anything with gluten. My mother cannot have anything with flour, wheat, oats, barley, rye and stuff like that. She can't even drink regular beer. It is amazing what food products have gluten in them, even soy sauce. She has to read all food labels. I made pizza tonight and had to be creative for her. Made her pizza on tortilla shells. Just think of all the foods you are no longer able to eat-cakes, cookies, bread, pizza. She had been extremely thin from this disease, but now her body hoards whatever she eats. She eats lots of salads (minus the croutons). She is so sensitive that she brought her own bread to a restaurant, but the crumbs from the other breads got on it and she got sick. She ordered rice noodles at a restaurant but it's cooked in the same water as other stuff, so she can't eat there any more. Very restrictive diet. And the sad thing is - it's genetic. Great. The things I can look forward to. Not a bright future for someone who loves to bake. I have my own health issues and have to be careful of what I eat, let's just add that in. There's many a day I live on saltines when my ulcer flares up. No flour products...oh dear.

Regression and Guilt

And so it begins...We are visiting my parents, with my husband leaving in two days (and yes, he is counting). When we brought stuff in, the changes they made to their house made us very suspicious. Kind of like they were expecting our visit to be more long, long term than what it is. Sure enough, it was brought up today. About missing the kids, keeping family together, helping each other out, etc. Maybe we could live here with them indefinitely. It would mean so much to them to be with their grandkids. Why do I have the feeling this is going to be a long summer?

And why is it that I, a perfectly normal adult seem to regress when I am around them. Years of conditioning I guess. Hate to make waves, easier to give in, who knows. Today I ended up making pizza for the whole group. Tomorrow they are having company and I am catering it. Enchiladas for 12. I really have no idea how it happened. Although the fact that I hate my mother's cooking may have something to do with it. (She is also on a special diet for her health and so she eats some bizarre things). The deal starts with "if you cook, I'll clean the kitchen". Yeah, right...she wanders off and plays with the grandkids. Trust me I've walked away but the dishes don't budge...for days. It finally drives me crazy enough to just do them. Can't deal with dishes piled up. It's easier to just get them over with. So I've reverted back to the cooking and cleaning person again. I told them after Saturday I'm not cooking any more. I eat very little and there's no reason for me to cook. At least I put them on notice. If I live on salad I get the benefits of no cooking, no cleaning and hey, maybe I'll lose some weight. Maybe eating healthier will help my backbone get stronger. I made a start tonight, let's hope it continues.

A First

Today was the first day my husband and I ate a meal in a restaurant without the kids. We had eaten without our oldest son, but never without our 2 year old. Not because we didn't want to, but she is quite a handful and people just don't seem to volunteer to watch her. We have found it's just easier not to eat out at all. Fighting with her is more work than the meal is worth. But today she had grandparents (well, one at least) who were willing to take her on. We are not the outdoorsy type, but their grandmother is. She played ball with them, took them for a walk to the park, and all around wore them out. We got out for 2 1/2 hours, and when we got back it was naptime. Kids were so worn out, although the oldest will never admit it. He doesn't take naps, but he sure crashed at night. We had a nice lunch, picking a place the kids would not like. Usually, if we do eat out, it's at a place they enjoy the food. So yeah!!! we got to have a nice relaxing and civilized meal. Hope it doesn't take 2 1/2 years to have another one.